Actually, this story was conceived while sitting in the hot seat with these two moguls over me. There's nothing to do but wait. So my mind wanders. And it thought this up.
Sooooo...
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Scene 1 - Many years ago....
Incisor 1 : Careful, careful, CAREFUL!
Incisor 2 : We're gonna crash! AUGHHHH!!
Molar : Quit yer yapping, we'll be fine.
Incisor 1 : Easy for you to say. You're way back there.
*CRASH*
Incisor 1 : OWWW! THAT HURT!
Incisor 2 : Oh, I think I broke something.
Incisor 1 : OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS! YOU'RE BROKEN IN HALF!
Incisor 2 : I can't feel my legs...
Incisor 1 : This stupid idiot just landed face first on you, my dear friend...
Incisor 2 : I don't feel well...
Incisor 1 : I don't feel well either. GET US TO THE DENTIST YOU DUMB NUT!
__________________
Scene 2 - at the dentist
Incisor 1 : How you hanging in there chap?
Incisor 2 : Not too bad actually. The pain's sorta gone now.
Incisor 1 : I'm still throbbing... But thankfully I didn't break anything.
Dentist : Now open wide....
Incisor 1 : Woah what is this woman doing with that... thing???
Incisor 2 : AUGH! GET AWAY FROM ME! GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!
*drilling noises*
Some time later...
Incisor 1 : How you feeling?
Incisor 2 : All weird. I feel like there's this huge concrete brick stuck on my face.
Incisor 1 : That's probably because there is a big cement block on your face right now.
Incisor 2 : Oh gosh! I look hideous! SHE DID A BOTCH JOB!
Incisor 1 : Oh stop fussing.
Incisor 2 : I don't like these freaking prosthetic limbs. They feel... unnatural.
Incisor 1 : Quit babbling already and live with it.
Incisor 2 : Oh, you have no idea what it's like. You watch out in the future....
Incisor 1 : Watch out for what? You are the one who took the fall. You got busted. Not me.
Incisor 2 : Oh yeah? It's just a matter of time...
_____________________________
Scene 3 - present day...
Incisor 1 : I don't feel so good...
Molar : Why the heck are you two always the ones with problems??
Incisor 1 : Oh shut up. You worry about ol' Wisdom boy back there.
Wis 1 : Oi! It's not my fault I didn't point the right direction...
Incisor 1 : Yeah yeah yeah..
Tongue : Ewww what's this??? *ppptttuiiii*
Incisor 2 : What was that?
Tongue : Some kind of stone or something.
Incisor 1 : OH. MY. GOSH. AHHHHHHHHHHH!
Incisor 2 : What? What?
Incisor 1 : A PART OF MY BODY JUST DROPPED OFF!
Incisor 2 : What th-
Incisor 1 : DO SOMETHING!
Incisor 2 : Like what?
Incisor 1 : I DON'T KNOW! ANYTHING! HELP MEE!!! WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?
Incisor 2 : I sure as heck don't know.. I think that thing all those years back is catching up to you
Incisor 1 : I DON'T CARE! I'M DYING HERE!
Incisor 2 : Who's the fussbucket now?
Incisor 1 : GET ME FIXED DARN YOU!
Me : I can't you dumb nut. You're not hurting or anything. Shut up. I'm going to bed.
_____________________
Scene 4 - the morning after
Incisor 2 : How're you holding up buddy?
Incisor 1 : Shut up. I'm not talking to you.
Incisor 2 : Come on.. it's not that bad.
Incisor 1 : Oh?
Incisor 2 : Yeah... at least your internal organs aren't exposed. No sensitivity.
Incisor 1 : Oh, and you're trying to say you suffered worse than me?
Incisor 2 : It's just a tiny bit.
Incisor 1 : It's a tiny bit of my soul. Now go away.
Incisor 2 : I can't. I'm rooted. I can't go anywhere.
Incisor 1 : Then just stop talking.
Me : Yes I'd like to make an appointment for today at....
Incisor 1 : What's he doing?
Me : I'm getting you fixed you stupid idiot.
Incisor 1 : Oh yeah? But you just brushed it off last night. Why not do it again?
Me : Because it might get worse and you might die on me.
Incisor 2 : And besides he loves you.
Incisor 1 : Yeah. Because I wasn't a fake. Not anymore. Maybe he'll start liking his bottom incisors now.
Incisor 3 : But you guys don't even come into contact with us. We barely know you.
Incisor 4 : Yeah. Always up front. Hiding us behind.
Incisor 1 : It's not my fault okay? Blame Mr. Jaw here for being so tiny.
Jaw : Wha? Someone call me?
Incisor 1 : Shut up.
Incisor 2 : Oh my goodness this dude is late for his appointment.
Incisor 1 : Did he get lost or something?
Incisor 2 : I don't know. He had a freaking map in his head.
Incisor 1 : Hey where the heck are we going now? WRONG WAY SUCKER! WRONG WAY! TURN BACK! TURN BACK!
Some time later....
Incisor 1 : See I told you it was there. The freaking huge building as well. How'd you miss it?
Me : I was looking for a sign outside the building okay? How'd I know it was in an office building thing.
Incisor 1 : You're such a useless owner you know that? Not only did you manage to destroy both your frontmen, but you couldn't even find the dentist on time.
Me : Shut it you. I'm paying to get you fixed. I could always choose not to.
Incisor 1 : Oh yeah? And leave all the delicious food waiting for you? I think not. You need me.
Me : And you need me. Now shut it.
Incisor 2 : You know, I don't recall ever making this much fuss when I was getting repaired.
Incisor 1 : That's because we were younger then. We're older now. Much more mature. Much more grumpy.
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Scene 5 - the Dentist
Incisor 1 : What's taking so long?
Incisor 2 : I don't know. There's all these papers he's filling out.
Incisor 1 : Sheesh. Paperwork, paperwork. A signature for every damn thing. Sign here to agree to sign there to agree that you have been asked to sign somewhere. What the heck is with all this signing.
Incisor 2 : Just be patient.
Incisor 1 : Finally! We're getting somewhere...
Incisor 2 : This young chap looks like a friendly guy.
Incisor 1 : Yeah, let's just hope he knows what he's doing. I don't want a crappy oversized botch job like yours.
Incisor 2 : I kind of like it now. It makes me look bigger than you.
Incisor 1 : And that's a good thing because?
Incisor 2 : Good point.
Incisor 1 : GAH! WHAT IS THIS LIGHT!?
Incisor 2 : I think they're taking a picture of you.
Incisor 1 : A picture? What the heck for? I'm not a celebrity or anything! Geez get away! NOW WHAT?
Incisor 2 : I think it's an X-ray. Smile for the camera.
Incisor 1 : But I'm broken! STOP TAKING PICTURES!
Incisor 2 : Look on the screen! That's you!
Incisor 1 : Wow.. this clinic is pretty darn awesome. We've got a computer screen all to ourselves.
Incisor 2 : And the dude's playing jazz music too. Doesn't quite drown out the drilling, but at least they're making an effort.
Incisor 1 : Yeah.. but it's such typical Hollywood-ness isn't it? My dental assistant is a bass player....
Incisor 2 : Hey maybe we should jam with him sometime.
Incisor 1 : Yeah? Form a band with my dentist. How thick exactly are you?
Incisor 2 : The light's on. Here's your moment.
Incisor 1 : What is that thing he's... wait.. wait WAIT!!!
*Dental Sound Effects*
Incisor 1 : GAH WHAT IS HE DOING?
Incisor 2 : I think he's polishing you for the bonding later on.
Incisor 1 : Well tell him to stop. I've had enough.
Incisor 2 : Just sit tight and you'll be fixed in a jiffy.
Incisor 1 : Ewww what's this thingggg..... Stop putting foreign objects on me!!!
Incisor 2 : That's the cement you dolt. That's your prosthetics.
Incisor 1 : I don't want it.
Incisor 2 : It's going on anyway.
Incisor 1 : WHAT'S THIS BLUE LIGHT NOW? AM I GOING TO DIE?
Incisor 2 : Geez you're such a baby..
Incisor 1 : I didn't deserve this! I wasn't injured! I didn't get into any fights! Why me?! Why!!!
Incisor 2 : The dentist said you were just weakened in that old accident. Now it's finally caught up with you.
Incisor 1 : How undignified.
Incisor 2 : There you're all fixed now. Happy?
Incisor 1 : No.
Incisor 2 : Oh what is it now?
Incisor 1 : I feel weird.
Incisor 2 : You'll get used to it.
Incisor 1 : Bah. This sucks.
Incisor 2 : Yes it does. Now shut up.
Incisor 1 : At least I look a damn sight better than you do.
Incisor 2 : Oh, look. We get gift cards for our friends and family.
Incisor 1 : To the freakin' dentist?
Incisor 2 : It would appear so..
Incisor 1 : How much did it cost to fix me again?
Me : You don't wanna know...
***************
Here ends my trip to the dentist. Pray it remains the only one I have to make.
P.S. I would've given you some before and after pics. But my teeth would gross you out.
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