This blog has now reached it's end. The American Adventure has finished. Will there be a sequel in the near future? One will never know, but for now let's let the credits roll...

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Chapter Tooth and Chips

You may have noticed my little blurb on twitter about my tooth. Well yes, it chipped. I went to the dentist and now it's fixed. That could be the end of it, but the creative writer in me won't let it be so.

Actually, this story was conceived while sitting in the hot seat with these two moguls over me. There's nothing to do but wait. So my mind wanders. And it thought this up.


Scene 1 - Many years ago....

Incisor 1 : Careful, careful, CAREFUL!
Incisor 2 : We're gonna crash! AUGHHHH!!
Molar : Quit yer yapping, we'll be fine.
Incisor 1 : Easy for you to say. You're way back there.


Incisor 1 : OWWW! THAT HURT!
Incisor 2 : Oh, I think I broke something.
Incisor 2 : I can't feel my legs...
Incisor 1 : This stupid idiot just landed face first on you, my dear friend...
Incisor 2 : I don't feel well...
Incisor 1 : I don't feel well either. GET US TO THE DENTIST YOU DUMB NUT!

Scene 2 - at the dentist

Incisor 1 : How you hanging in there chap?
Incisor 2 : Not too bad actually. The pain's sorta gone now.
Incisor 1 : I'm still throbbing... But thankfully I didn't break anything.

Dentist : Now open wide....

Incisor 1 : Woah what is this woman doing with that... thing???

*drilling noises*

Some time later...

Incisor 1 : How you feeling?
Incisor 2 : All weird. I feel like there's this huge concrete brick stuck on my face.
Incisor 1 : That's probably because there is a big cement block on your face right now.
Incisor 2 : Oh gosh! I look hideous! SHE DID A BOTCH JOB!
Incisor 1 : Oh stop fussing.
Incisor 2 : I don't like these freaking prosthetic limbs. They feel... unnatural.
Incisor 1 : Quit babbling already and live with it.
Incisor 2 : Oh, you have no idea what it's like. You watch out in the future....
Incisor 1 : Watch out for what? You are the one who took the fall. You got busted. Not me.
Incisor 2 : Oh yeah? It's just a matter of time...

Scene 3 - present day...

Incisor 1 : I don't feel so good...
Molar : Why the heck are you two always the ones with problems??
Incisor 1 : Oh shut up. You worry about ol' Wisdom boy back there.
Wis 1 : Oi! It's not my fault I didn't point the right direction...
Incisor 1 : Yeah yeah yeah..
Tongue : Ewww what's this??? *ppptttuiiii*
Incisor 2 : What was that?
Tongue : Some kind of stone or something.
Incisor 2 : What? What?
Incisor 2 : What th-
Incisor 1 : DO SOMETHING!
Incisor 2 : Like what?
Incisor 2 : I sure as heck don't know.. I think that thing all those years back is catching up to you
Incisor 2 : Who's the fussbucket now?
Me : I can't you dumb nut. You're not hurting or anything. Shut up. I'm going to bed.

Scene 4 - the morning after

Incisor 2 : How're you holding up buddy?
Incisor 1 : Shut up. I'm not talking to you.
Incisor 2 : Come on.. it's not that bad.
Incisor 1 : Oh?
Incisor 2 : Yeah... at least your internal organs aren't exposed. No sensitivity.
Incisor 1 : Oh, and you're trying to say you suffered worse than me?
Incisor 2 : It's just a tiny bit.
Incisor 1 : It's a tiny bit of my soul. Now go away.
Incisor 2 : I can't. I'm rooted. I can't go anywhere.
Incisor 1 : Then just stop talking.

Me : Yes I'd like to make an appointment for today at....

Incisor 1 : What's he doing?
Me : I'm getting you fixed you stupid idiot.
Incisor 1 : Oh yeah? But you just brushed it off last night. Why not do it again?
Me : Because it might get worse and you might die on me.
Incisor 2 : And besides he loves you.
Incisor 1 : Yeah. Because I wasn't a fake. Not anymore. Maybe he'll start liking his bottom incisors now.
Incisor 3 : But you guys don't even come into contact with us. We barely know you.
Incisor 4 : Yeah. Always up front. Hiding us behind.
Incisor 1 : It's not my fault okay? Blame Mr. Jaw here for being so tiny.
Jaw : Wha? Someone call me?
Incisor 1 : Shut up.
Incisor 2 : Oh my goodness this dude is late for his appointment.
Incisor 1 : Did he get lost or something?
Incisor 2 : I don't know. He had a freaking map in his head.
Incisor 1 : Hey where the heck are we going now? WRONG WAY SUCKER! WRONG WAY! TURN BACK! TURN BACK!

Some time later....

Incisor 1 : See I told you it was there. The freaking huge building as well. How'd you miss it?
Me : I was looking for a sign outside the building okay? How'd I know it was in an office building thing.
Incisor 1 : You're such a useless owner you know that? Not only did you manage to destroy both your frontmen, but you couldn't even find the dentist on time.
Me : Shut it you. I'm paying to get you fixed. I could always choose not to.
Incisor 1 : Oh yeah? And leave all the delicious food waiting for you? I think not. You need me.
Me : And you need me. Now shut it.
Incisor 2 : You know, I don't recall ever making this much fuss when I was getting repaired.
Incisor 1 : That's because we were younger then. We're older now. Much more mature. Much more grumpy.

Scene 5 - the Dentist

Incisor 1 : What's taking so long?
Incisor 2 : I don't know. There's all these papers he's filling out.
Incisor 1 : Sheesh. Paperwork, paperwork. A signature for every damn thing. Sign here to agree to sign there to agree that you have been asked to sign somewhere. What the heck is with all this signing.
Incisor 2 : Just be patient.
Incisor 1 : Finally! We're getting somewhere...
Incisor 2 : This young chap looks like a friendly guy.
Incisor 1 : Yeah, let's just hope he knows what he's doing. I don't want a crappy oversized botch job like yours.
Incisor 2 : I kind of like it now. It makes me look bigger than you.
Incisor 1 : And that's a good thing because?
Incisor 2 : Good point.
Incisor 2 : I think they're taking a picture of you.
Incisor 1 : A picture? What the heck for? I'm not a celebrity or anything! Geez get away! NOW WHAT?
Incisor 2 : I think it's an X-ray. Smile for the camera.
Incisor 1 : But I'm broken! STOP TAKING PICTURES!
Incisor 2 : Look on the screen! That's you!
Incisor 1 : Wow.. this clinic is pretty darn awesome. We've got a computer screen all to ourselves.
Incisor 2 : And the dude's playing jazz music too. Doesn't quite drown out the drilling, but at least they're making an effort.
Incisor 1 : Yeah.. but it's such typical Hollywood-ness isn't it? My dental assistant is a bass player....
Incisor 2 : Hey maybe we should jam with him sometime.
Incisor 1 : Yeah? Form a band with my dentist. How thick exactly are you?
Incisor 2 : The light's on. Here's your moment.
Incisor 1 : What is that thing he's... wait.. wait WAIT!!!

*Dental Sound Effects*

Incisor 2 : I think he's polishing you for the bonding later on.
Incisor 1 : Well tell him to stop. I've had enough.
Incisor 2 : Just sit tight and you'll be fixed in a jiffy.
Incisor 1 : Ewww what's this thingggg..... Stop putting foreign objects on me!!!
Incisor 2 : That's the cement you dolt. That's your prosthetics.
Incisor 1 : I don't want it.
Incisor 2 : It's going on anyway.
Incisor 2 : Geez you're such a baby..
Incisor 1 : I didn't deserve this! I wasn't injured! I didn't get into any fights! Why me?! Why!!!
Incisor 2 : The dentist said you were just weakened in that old accident. Now it's finally caught up with you.
Incisor 1 : How undignified.
Incisor 2 : There you're all fixed now. Happy?
Incisor 1 : No.
Incisor 2 : Oh what is it now?
Incisor 1 : I feel weird.
Incisor 2 : You'll get used to it.
Incisor 1 : Bah. This sucks.
Incisor 2 : Yes it does. Now shut up.
Incisor 1 : At least I look a damn sight better than you do.
Incisor 2 : Oh, look. We get gift cards for our friends and family.
Incisor 1 : To the freakin' dentist?
Incisor 2 : It would appear so..
Incisor 1 : How much did it cost to fix me again?
Me : You don't wanna know...

Here ends my trip to the dentist. Pray it remains the only one I have to make.

P.S. I would've given you some before and after pics. But my teeth would gross you out.

Friday, February 19, 2010


Looks like I didn't land the boat audition.

Maybe next time.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Chapter blurb

It's Chinese New Year.

Which marks the second major event I'm not home for. The first being Christmas.

And I quite miss it.

The food.
The gambling. The 'healthy' gambling.
The unceasing laughter.
The family togetherness.
The food.
Did I mention the food?

Oh yes.

Ok, I'm out of things to say.

This is just a short blurb. I'm going to the mountains for some snow in 2 weeks time. Last chance before the heat comes back and melts it all.

So till then.

Happy New Year.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Chapter 1001 - The Superbowl Adventure

Ok I know my updates have been sparse as of late. Sorry la. Busy.

My blog. My rules. Quit complaining.

Firstly, let me direct your attention to the post below. The 'Flood' post. There are now pictures and a video for you to take a look at. Why on earth you would want to do that is beyond me, but I put them on here anyway. I guess it's more for me than anything. I don't know why but that whole ordeal is probably going to be one I don't forget in a long long time. And it's a nice anecdote to have - I saved my apartment from flooding.

So yes, check that out below.

Now onward.

Last Sunday was the Superbowl. It's the climax of the American Football season.

A team played another team.
There were some points involved.
There was some whistle blowing.
There were some intervals.
There were alot of commercials (you can actually view them on youtube).
Some players got injured.
A team scored more points than the other.
That team won.
The other lost.
There was a trophy.
It was handed to the winning team.
The losing team didn't get a trophy.
There were a lot of fingerprints on the trophy.
There was a lot of confetti in the stadium.

How exciting.

In all honesty though, the whole deal is probably just yet another excuse to eat lots of junk together with friends. We had tamales, nachos, hot wings, soda, lemonade, brownies... And I was eating more than I was watching the game.

I'm not a real sporty person to begin with, so I guess it's just me. But I certainly get more kick out of watching the Rugby world cup.

So anyway.
Food for the day.
Wings. Delicious wings.
Cheese dip.


The Gang.

I sure had fun. I ate a ton of junk. I cheered for a team I had never heard of before in my entire life. I got excited when other people did. I went 'ooh' and 'aah' at the strategic plays which I understood as much as I understand Portuguese. I ate a lot of delicious brownies.

And I'm got a sore throat.

Don't worry. I'm fine-ish now. I hope.


Here's a much delayed LPW video to round things off.

Till next time. Whenever that is. Hopefully soon. Unless I get buried in rehearsals again. Cheers.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Chapter 100 - No really.

It's my 100th post. Hurrah.

Well, technically counting the ones from the 'blogsome' experience, this exceeds 100. But who's keeping count.

And what a way to commemorate this event.

It's 4am as of writing.

I'm not asleep.

Why, you ask?

Because I got home. In the rain. The heaviest rain we've had here in a long time. I mean like historically heavy. Biblically heavy. Okay, maybe not that heavy. But heavy. Heavy-ish. Not as heavy as the rain back home that hurts when it hits you. But heavy enough to cause some major problems.

And I got home in that rain.

My roomies are fast asleep. They don't have a clue what's transpiring in our apartment.

The rain. Oh the rain. The wonderful rain I love so much, I have now grown to hate. Despise. It enrages me. It frustrates me. It wiggles and squirms its way into the unpleasant chambers of my heart and soul.


I came home.

And the whole apartment was tormented with leaks.


Ok that last one not everywhere. I just happen to have a sweater hung on a chair that was directly beneath the leakage. And it's now soaked.

There's water behind the paint in the walls. There's soaking wet ceiling tiles. There's a puddle forming in our electric fireplace. I've been up and about for an hour now, putting pots beneath the leaks, soaking up the water with rags.

I don't even own this house and yet I have to bother with maintenance? Are you kidding me? I'm not a home owner! Spare me! Please! I only live here because I have to! I'm sorry!

Curse you rain.

I now know how my mum feels with the leaking roof. It's frustrating. Like trying to thread a needle with a spoon. I don't even know how that analogy is supposed to work. I bet it's really frustrating.

It's 4 am. I'm tired and sleepy. But my apartment is slowly being flooded. I may wake up tomorrow in a swimming pool. Or I may drown in my sleep. Or I may be swept away by a sudden tidal wave.

Or I may not.

Or I may just be overreacting.

First thing in the morning - cry for help.

It's going to keep raining. And I need to stop my apartment from being turned into an aquarium. Lest I want to be Aquaman.

Last I heard, Aquaman wasn't a very good drummer. So no thanks.

Someone better do something.

Before we all live in a yellow submarine.



So the rain has stopped for now. Clouds haven't completely cleared. Might rain again.

The leaks have dwindled down to a slow slow drip. The bucket is still there.

Out in the battlefield are two pans, three pots, a bowl, a cup, and the bucket.

I've spent 4 hours emptying them so that they wouldn't overflow.

I haven't slept a wink yet.

Management has been notified regarding the leaks.

My mattress is in the middle of the apartment because there's no where else to put it.

I'm tired, sleepy, hungry, all at the same time.

I have pictures and videos of the thing which I will keep for my remembrance of the 'Flood'.


Here's some pics and vids regarding last weekend's 'flooding' of the apartment.

Now, pictures and videos were taken when I was free to take them - which meant that the dripping you hear or see wasn't at its most severe. Trust me, it was worse. That bucket dripping you hear in the video was when it was least potent. Yes, you heard me right.


The first ensemble.

And the next.
That's the two water bubbles behind the paint. They got bigger. And sank lower.
And yes that's another pot in there.

And here's the video. Notice the ensemble grew as the night went along.