Chapareter

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Welcome to KJ’s wrap up of the New Year.

It’s been a while since I’ve said this but 2010 was a GREAT YEAR. It was a fantastic year. And it’s been a while since I’ve been able to reflect on a year and be proud of it.

Before I got my butt into the States, I was living a very dull and unproductive life. I was teaching music part time for three years almost and doing really nothing in between. The years were filled with much time wasting, much procrastination, failed university applications and a lot more stuff not worth mentioning. I used to wake up each day asking myself - what on earth is God doing in my life right now and what on earth am I doing about it?

It wasn’t a waste. It was a time of maturing and growing and preparation for the life I would live outside my home, away from my family and into a brand new environment. There were ups and downs and there were highs and lows. That was before this American Adventure began.

The pursuit for musical excellence and a career in music began after I graduated ‘A’ levels, at the age of 17. Even before I finished that, I had already decided it would be music. It was a strange decision coming from me, the boy who studied sciences and did reasonably well at them. Coming from the person who used to want to build mechanical arms for a living. Then again, I remember clearly my ambition to become Doc Brown from Back to the Future so obviously I know nothing about my own ambitions. I’m 22 now verging on 23 in a couple of days (YIKES!) and that brings my pursuit for this to five and a half years now. Five and a half years and more than half of that time was quite unproductive.

God’s way of doing things usually never coincides with how we want to do things. I believe that’s because we’re just so far from God sometimes that we don’t want what He wants. And what He wants for us is always the best. If we truly were with Him and know Him, we’d do what He wants because we know He knows best. The journey to where I am today was completely not my choosing. It deviated entirely from the plan I was making. I arrived in a school I had not originally intended to go to, I spent over two years longer than I would’ve liked waiting to get here, and so on and so on.

But reflecting upon the journey until today, God really does know best. I always imagine what it would be like if I arrived in this country at the age of 19. I think my mom would be completely freaked out with her every waking moment.

But I deviate. I’m telling the story of 2010, not the story of 2005-2010. It is necessary to give some context though to give you an idea why I say I’ve never really had the chance to call a year ‘great’. Perhaps my idea of ‘some’ is somewhat thwarted. Yet again I digress.

2010 has been a year of fulfilling. It has been a year of faithfulness. It has been a year of fulfilled promises.

For the most part the year was taken up by music college. Until September my days were filled with productive classes, training and practice. The tough part came when graduation came closer and closer each and every passing week. The question of ‘what are you going to do next?’ kept coming at me like a pesky insect that I didn’t want to deal with at that point in time.  But it was coming and I knew it. The day was coming when I would be out of school and out into the working world.

So began the exploration of options. I basically did everything within my power and left the rest entirely to God. I sent out applications to another school, not sure whether I was even going to go to school for more. I looked online for jobs, sent out resumes, called phone numbers, met people, did all I can to try and get some kind of work - including my one audition for a cruise ship. I gave it all I got. I gave it my best shot. The rest was literally up to God. I had no idea if any of it would work. I was never sure if I was ever going to make it as a working musician.

All this has only served to build my faith in Him and trust His faithfulness.

God has been faithful to provide me a job.
God has been faithful to provide me places to live within my budget.
God has been faithful to provide great friends, great community.
God has been faithful to provide great teachers who’ve helped me mature in my Christian life.
God has been faithful to provide relationships that will last forever.
God has been faithful to literally provide all I need, and then some.

One entire year, just witnessing the faithfulness of God. Witnessing Him fulfilling His promises that He will take care of me, that He will not forsake me, that He has my best interests at heart, that He is in control of everything and as long as I trust Him, He will be there for me.

2010 has been also an incredible year of learning. There’s more to college life than learning academics. There’s a lot more to college life outside on your own than learning your profession. You learn to live. As cliche as it sounds, it’s the first real taste of the world, cuddled safely around the normality of study life. There is still a routine, there is still something to do each day, but there are also aspects of life that will continue on forever.

It’s life. Managing finances, managing meals, managing time, managing resources, balancing social life with work or study, learning to live in close proximity with people as neighbours, learning tolerance, learning how to show grace - learning how to live life on your own. A taste of what life will be like once we’re all grown up. Learning how our parents do it.

It’s also been an incredible year of learning about Christ. I’ve been so blessed to have had great mentors in my life every step of the way. God has always provided men of wisdom and men of faith and men of love around me to teach me and show me what it means to be a Christian and what it means to live by faith and what it means to live for Jesus.


I’d highlight some awesome events during the year, but honestly there are quite too many that I can’t keep track of them all. That’s what twitter is for I suppose. I wish there were some better way of going through my old tweets.

2011 - Here I come. A brand new adventure.

Chapter I - Intermissionsionsion

I went to see McCoy Tyner, the great jazz composing legend, today at the Catalina.

It was fantastic right up to the point McCoy walked off the stage because some a-hole was recording him on a video camera or some shit.

Which got me thinking - I want to come to a point where I'm established enough to be able to walk off stage whenever I want. It's a weird ambition, I admit.

Right now I'm at the point where I'll smile and take as much bull crap as I can handle, then some more, because clearly I need the work.

But one day...

I really need to punch that moron. If only I weren't so skinny.

VOLUME 2 - CHAPTER 1

And so volume 1 of KJ's American Adventure comes to a close. It has been an amazing 18 months and it has come to a beautiful and satisfying end. This part of my great journey is now complete. A new volume is about to begin.

I've met some amazing musicians from all over the world and I've learned so much from every single one of them. That's the difference coming to a music college like this as opposed to studying privately back home - I may have gotten the same level of training but there is no way I could've gotten the same amount of exposure.

I've seen many of my classmates become phenomenal monsters behind the kit and I've been able to draw from them. There is no better inspiration to practice that the spur of competition. Alongside them, I've managed to establish myself as a worthy adversary and they've kept me on my toes and I've done likewise. I've managed to carve a small little space that I can call my own that no one else can replicate. I'm starting to sound like me.

And that's an awesome thing.

Initially the desire was to do what everyone else was doing and beat them at it. That's what you think when the words 'being the best' come to mind. But it slowly becomes revealed that there is no way in the world that one can achieve that. Everyone is different. Just as I am different from everyone else. There are things that I can do that no one else can. I may not be the best drummer as of right now in certain things, but there are also certain things that I can kick way more butt than most others.

And that is a lesson you cannot learn anywhere else.

It has been an incredible volume in my adventure. Cumulative hours of practice in these past months goes beyond 2000 easily. I've broken countless pairs of sticks. I actually had a picture of my stick collection, but that was in my camera which I lost.

Yes mum. I lost my camera. Don't ask me how or where because it happened in the final weeks of school and my brain was in no condition to attempt a backtrack of my steps to figure out where I lost it. The bottom line is that it's gone. I'm sorry. It served me well for a year and a half. Maybe it just wanted retirement.

Back to practicing. I've also cracked 3 cymbals in the course of my adventure. The greatest thing I'm going to miss about MI itself is the 24/7 availability of my practice space. I cannot tell you what a joy it is for me to be able to go to school at any hour I like and play drums without worry of noise or time or anything. I can just sit down and play to my heart's content. I work best in the wee hours of the morning despite my mum's constant pleas for me to go home. After 18 months she still hasn't quite realised that it has little or no bearing on my urge to practice up till 4 or 5 am.

Scold or nag if you must, but I think I can still afford to do that now. Especially when my physical condition can still take it.

That's another thing. This experience will never be replicated again in my life. There will never again be a time of such intensive focus on my instrument. Waking up each day, going to class with 15 credit hours of drums. Nothing but drums. Who would've thought that they could create an entire 90 credit program for drums and drums alone. Classes, practice, classes, practice... entire days swallowed up by just drums. Nothing is more fantastic for a drummer. Such joy. Tiring. But incredibly joyful.

I'll be writing a lot more over the next 2 weeks trying to reflect back on the many adventures I've had in school for the past 18 months.

Volume 1 has come to an end. But volume 2 is just beginning. And it's just as exciting. By the sweat of my brow and the strength of the Lord, I will pursue this to the very end. It will be a volume of new challenges and exciting opportunities. It's exciting to see where God will lead me and where He'll put me.

I'll end here for now. There's a lot more to come. I'll end with this little thing I posted on twitter which I would like to repeat. Upon reflecting, I've found that I can come up with some really profound stuff sometimes. I guess the Holy Spirit has His way sometimes.

"If I leave my life in God's hands it doesn't mean I don't need to take care of myself. It means I can afford to fall, and land in His arms."

Chapter 0 - back to the beginning.

And so the rollercoaster ends.

*more updates later*

Chapter R.I. not so P

No I haven't died.

I've been busy.

With stuff.

So here's some things to keep you informed.

I'm moving at the end of the month.

My own room.

The privacy will be most welcome.

While it lasts.

I'm applying to a school in New York.

Waiting for my teachers to write me recommendation letters.

One of my teachers said 'Bleep school. Get out and play.'

Very encouraged by that.

If work finds me in LA then screw New York.

I'd love to go there one day and play eventually.

Final quarter is busy as crap.

I've had little time to go grocery shopping.

Spaghetti and Tamales 4 days in a row now.

Writing my own solo for my final.

Don't think I'm putting as much time as I should into it.

But then again, I've got a lot of other crap to work on.

Question of priorities.

Do I want to sit and write for a final grade worth 2 credits?

Or do I want to practice stuff that will make me more badass?

Priorities. They are tough.

Some pictures coming up later.

Went to see one of my teachers perform.

Crazy amazing stuff.

Hopefully I'll get a gig like that someday.

Printing some business cards for the future.

And a whole bunch of other crap.

Recording some more demo tracks.

Have you checked the myspace page?

Missing home.

Missing friends.

Missing my TeenStreet gang.

Circle of Trust.

Missing Ramadan food.

But having a blast.

More to come later.

I haven't died.

Check the new blog - lyricparodies.blogspot.com

Yes I said I was busy.

A man needs a hobby to stay sane.

Mine's writing.

So that's what I put that up for.

Not that I have too much time on my hands.

Which I don't.

But have fun and try to sing along.

Happy Merdeka Day.

Sing my Jalur Gemilang version on that special day.

Until next time.

Which won't be too far away I hope.

I'm not dead.

I'm surely alive.

I'm just playing drums.

Cheers.

Chapter 1- Here we go again.

This is it. The very last stint. It's incredible to know that I've gone 5 quarters now - 5 sets of 3 month stints. Yes, that much time has gone by ladies and gentlemen.

And now it's time to do it all over again for the final stint.

15 months I've lived in Hollywood. 15 months I've lived in the middle of pure unadulterated madness. And so far it seems I've kept my sanity.

Bullet point thoughts ready to fire cap'n!

- My hands and feet are in constant wear and tear from all the practicing. Let's put it this way, this will be like a stint of powerful extreme workouts to achieve a level where I can sit back and cruise on my own skill level.

- Speaking of skill level, as some of you have heard from my emails that it's hard to guesstimate your own skill level amidst all the classes and stuff. But looking back at where I started, I can say what a vast difference it has really made.

- The vending machine is my friend. I would not have survived last quarter without it, what with two days in a week going straight through from morning till evening with no lunch break. And it looks like my trusty friend will be needed to help me through the rest of this quarter too.

- I am a jazz musician. Nothing can stop that. But I play the crap out of anything else too. Which makes me leaps ahead of the others. Though there may be some things others do better than I, I take rest in knowing that my jazz skills are well developed.

- I look forward to graduating in 3 months. We'll see what the world has in store for the plucky Malaysian drummer who remains unknown to the world. For now.

- I'll admit. I do truly miss malaysian food. Sri Melaka trips with my family... oh the Nyonya fantastibulousness. And also durians. How I miss durians. No cuisine is better than Malaysian hands down. Too much diversity. Can't compare.

- If there is one place in the church that I know I belong it's behind the drums. Sure I do all sorts of other things too and I'm pretty capable of handling them, but there is no greater joy in my heart than playing my soul out on those drums for Heavenly Daddy to hear. No greater joy. It's taken more than a year of not playing to come to terms with that fact again. I do belong in the church playing drums. Nothing will ever stop me from doing so, wherever I may be.

- Due to my personality and my laziness, I've stayed away from temptations to splurge on certain things. I spend my money where it's most needed. Although the occasional vending machine treat is necessary for those late nights when I forget to pack my sandwich, I have stayed well away from pies, oversized pancake batter which could last me a decade, cakes, donuts, drinks other than water, posh seafood like shrimp and salmon, steaks etc. While all these may be tempting, my typical thought to self goes 'Eh.. maybe not.'

- There is NOTHING that cannot be done on the drums. NOTHING.

- My attempt to buff up at the gym has not worked. After almost a year of constant workouts (increased to 3 times a week lately) I am still as skinny as ever. The concept of lifting weights and eating proteins to build muscle does not seem to apply to my body. Maybe I should be studied by scientists. I can gain no fat nor muscle. I wonder what my weight consists of then - grey matter?

- I've cracked 3 cymbals, broken dozens of sticks, almost broken my pedal and created two distinct ripped patches on my jeans at the knees.

- I've bought 2 white hats. I haven't bought any other clothes. I want to buy a pair of orange sneakers. Why? Because the type that I want doesn't exist in my size back home. Here, I have relatively small feet. Should make finding exotic shoes easier.

- In all honesty, if I were to play the way I do now at the church back home, people would kill me. That is if they don't go deaf first. I don't hit harder. I've just learned to maximise the amount of sound I'm getting from the drums.

- My menu has grown to where it is no longer boring. For the chefs of the home, I know what it's like trying to figure out what to cook each and every meal. It's no easy feat.

- There has been much spiritual feeding in my life. While God's holiness never changes and our sinful nature never improves, my realisation of the wide gap that spans God's holiness and me constantly increases. Daily I preach to myself the Gospel - the fact that I may continue to sin each and every day but God still accepts me into His family. My brain has worked out everything. He loves me. Why? Because He made me. He named me. He gave me life.

He loves me. How? Because He sent his Son to die for me.

Why?

Because I am a sinner. And God's perfect holiness cannot accept sin. There was no way I could have done anything to change that fact - I could not have reached the standard of God. But God's love for me meant He wanted to be with me. He wanted to connect with me. While He could not tolerate my sin, He still loved me. The only solution is grace. His Son, Jesus, paid for my sin. And now, clothed in His righteousness, I can have fellowship with God.

How?

I have faith in Jesus Christ my saviour. I believe in all my heart that He died for me and that by that very act of love, I am free from sin.

That sounds too easy.

It's easy for me, but a huge price was paid. I paid nothing, but Jesus paid it all.

Salvation by grace through faith. I know what that means.

There is much now that I would do differently from the way I grew up doing them. Things in my spiritual life that seemed so redundant and meaningless back then - I know what they are now and I cherish every bit of it. There is much 'tradition' and 'religion' and plain repetitive rituals left in me still. But now I look at all I do and see if my heart is right.

Why do we worship? Because He deserves it. Worship isn't singing songs or clapping hands. Worship is a heart of total thankfulness in response to God for who He is and what He's done.

He gave His life for me. There can only be one response. Just as how there is a proper response to eating a delicious burger or a proper response to riding a rollercoaster, there is only one response to what God has done for me - God, I give You my all. I want to tell the world about what You've done.

There is a lot more that I've learned to do.

Social justice.

Serve the city.

Gospel neighbouring.

Living in community.

Wow.

Woah wait. I wasn't really intending on writing that. Super sidetracked. Back to bullet points.

- I should probably print some business cards. I need to make a name for myself.

- Is it weird that I have a 'welcome home' look prepared in my mind in the event I get to holiday home? You'd be surprised what it looks like.

- If nothing else, my visit to the states is totally vindicated by my exposure to music. That's what I came here for. To see and hear the pros at work. We don't get that many back home, but here they come in abundance. It's amazing. I've also caught some of my favourite Christian bands in action. Nothing beats David Crowder live in concert. Best worship leader ever.

- I haven't had a haircut in 15 months. Mumsies hasn't stop complaining.

- The shiny bit on my sneakers (refer first blog post on blogsome) is still shiny. Amazing. Even Yosemite has not destroyed it.

- 22 and still single. Tis a travesty. God, please don't intend celibacy for me. Please? (AAHAHAHAHAHAH I actually laughed at myself for typing that.)

- I have a faint thought in the back of my head when the time comes for me to do some teaching which will eventually happen. I didn't enjoy teaching back home because it was always with little kids who practiced close to nothing every week and they remained complete amateurs. Should I end up teaching some slightly advanced kids, I might enjoy myself. I have a whole lot of material to work with thanks to this MI curriculum.

I've run out of things to say.

This has been KJ's thoughts radio channel.

NOW WHAT?

DUN DUN DUN!

Chapter dappy hothers may

I'll be away over the weekend for more adventures, so I thought I'd post this out now.

Time to flex those writing muscles again.

Dedicated to mumsies.

___________________________

It seems a day a year is really no big deal for some

and others simply cannot wait for that one day to come

It's just like Christmas day, New Years or Valentine's

it comes around just once a year and I think that's just fine.

But people say to take one day and make it such a fuss

is not the slightest bit sincere to anyone and, thus,

they simply do not bother and they call us hypocrites

But I say that on these people this title truly fits.

I don't know why they make me out to be so bad or worse

At least I took to time to sit and write this little verse.

I know that I don't really say it quite enough at all

and true my actions simply show how well I drop the ball

the things I might have said and things I didn't do or did

all merely prove how much I'm really still a dumb ol kid.

I may not be the model son, the best in history

although at times I tend to think that person's really me

my constant disobediences, my witty rebel tongue,

my sarcastic personality deserves to be hung.

So I would say your greatest triumph in the world must be

despite all these shortcomings you still put up with me.

I'd like to say I haven't got a clue to how or why

But that would just be nothing but a 100 percent lie.

I do know why, I do know how, it's clear for all to see

it isn't rocket science, it's simple - mum loves me.

So this collection of my words I dedicate to you

It isn't much at all but it's the best that I can do

Happy Mother's Day dear mum, I'll say it till I'm blue

for all to see and read - Dear Mumsies, I love you.

Chapter 1.00 - A new beginning

Happy New Year!

****UPDATE***UPDATE***UPDATE***UPDATE***UPDATE***

Ok, so I was spose to write this on New Years Day. But I got lazy. And it's now a day after... so before it all goes pear shaped I better get things together.

Firstly, this is how I spent New Year's Eve. No party, no countdown... and I loved it.

A couple of beers (later on some rum and sprite), a box of leftover Christmas chocolates, my music on my laptop and a book to read.

So a year has gone by. It almost feels like 2009 never happened. So much has gone on in 2009 that my mind hasn't had the opportunity to sit on anything in particular and let it really set into my brain. You could say there's soup in my brain now, and nothing's really fixed in it's solid place. But I do know that I've learned loads in every aspect of my life and alot of great things have happened throughout the year. It's just that it's gone past in the blink of an eye that I haven't felt like a whole year of stuff has happened.

I'm rambling. As I normally do. I curse this ability to string tangible sentences together without ever making a point.

Here's some fun stuff.

KJ'S LIST OF ACCOMPLISHMENTS

I. FOOD I CAN COOK NOW

My menu has grown considerably. Here's the things I'm now proficient in cooking

- brilliant rice (A primary achievement... in a pot....)

- Brilliant Fried Rice (it's a start ok.. bear with me.. the list gets good)

- brilliant fried noodles

- brilliant (but not as brilliant as mom's) spaghetti

- brilliant onion soup

- brilliant fish and chips

- brilliant potatoes (roasted, sauteed, mash)

- brilliant roast chicken

- brilliant pork chops

- brilliant pie fillings (I don't make pastry.. just the filling.. hey it's just as good)

- brilliant glazed ham

and alot of interestingly brilliant recipes.

II. NEW DRUM SKILLZZ

- very fast and accurate rimshots

- very fast and accurate double paradiddles

- very fast and accurate triple paradiddles

- very fast and accurate flams

- very fast and accurate pull out accents

- real samba and bossa nova and other latin skills

- real jazz improvisational skills

- proper hand percussion skills

- double bass skills

- hi hat syncopation skills

- heel toe skills

- right hand lead skills

- transcription skills

- playing to a click (and still learning to master... it's not as easy at it sounds)

and alot of other uber cool coordination skills, rudiments and such.

III. RANDOM NEW THINGS

- music programming skills

- iMovie editing and stuff

- recording drum covers over existing tracks and syncing audio and video

- managing money (VERY IMPORTANT LESSON LEARNT)

- weekly exercise

IV. GOD'S LIFE LESSONS

God's taken this time in the States to really teach me things. I feel this area being the biggest area of growth in my life. I've learned a ton in school and living on my own for 9 months now, but I feel I've learned so much in regards my faith. God's been teaching me all over again what it really meant the day I believed in grace and the cross of Jesus. He's taught me and reminded me that I was in need of rescue without even knowing it and He sent Jesus to live the life I couldn't live, and died the death I should've died for my sins. He's been reminding me of grace and the righteousness I now receive in Christ. I have been claimed by Jesus as His own even in the state of my own sin.

He's taught me what it really means to worship Him. What worship really is - it is a response to Him for who He is and what He's done for me. Any experience generates a response in us. Riding a rollercoaster makes us respond 'AHHHHH!' or 'WHEEEE!'. Eating a delicious burger makes us respond 'mmmmmmmmmmm'. In the same way the gift of Jesus on the Cross of Calvary makes me respond 'Wow wow wow wow wow. God I'll do anything for You. God I want to tell the world about You'. In the same way that we do not respond to someone else's experience - we don't scream when we see someone ride a rollercoaster nor do we go 'mmmm' when hearing about someone else eating something delicious - worship is my own personal response for what Jesus has done for ME. My sin was what nailed Him to the cross but it is HIS love for a sinner like me that kept Him there. And now I'm blown away and all my life is dedicated to Him to proclaim of His amazing work on the Cross.

I don't know what it is, but I've never been so responsive to the Word of God in my life. I've never sat in church and paid this much attention before. I've never heard the Word and remembered so much of it before in my life. It's like God's turned me into a sponge this year and just laid it on me day after day after day.

I am blessed. I am saved.

I am a Christian. Ask me why.

**************************

For those of you who're up for some extra reading, here's how I start my New Year.

Especially this year. 2010 is the year of GREAT THINGS with God.

CLICK HERE

Chapter Merry Christmas

The very special Christmas Special. Especially made special for you.

It's Christmas. And I thought I'd do a real meaningful post. Related to music of course.

As a musician, my world revolves around music - what I've played, where I've played and of course who I've played with. What's interesting is that I've played so many songs with so many different people on so many different occasions over the years and every song that I listen to conjours up some memory of a great time together. As I listen through my playlist on iTunes, everytime I come across a song I've played with someone sometime somewhere, I remember the great times attached to that song.

So I thought I'd share that with you. For those reading, this is a special post dedicated to you all.

Format

Song - Band

Story

Begin.

Testify to Love - Avalon

I remember listening to a Spanish version of this and going absolutely crazy about it. And then sharing it with Ahloo and him getting all the lyrics for it too.

Singing Over Me - Building 429

Somehow now known as the DOTA song. I never played the two together at any time, but Ivan and Ahloo did. So now it's officially known as that.

Lifesong - Casting Crowns

Rooftop concert. And playing a crowns song for the first time. I remember the rule - never attempt a Crowns song because they're too hard. I think we pulled it off though.s\

Voice of Truth - Casting Crowns

Especially dear to me this song is. The VERY FIRST song I ever heard on Christian radio. The one song that got me hooked on it the moment I turned it on. I don't know what inspired me to do it, but that was the day I found PulseFm, and was forever changed. And Crowns remains one of my favourite bands till today.

American Dream - Casting Crowns

Remember this being the first song to receive a label - Father's Day song. I remember also doing it for real on Father's Day and organizing a sketch around it as well. Remember it being Edward's directorial debut. Remember it being the most elaborate 5 minute song ever attempted and it being a total and complete success. Really awesome finished product. Remember also the fine acting skills displayed. (Can I mention your names guys? haha)

Praise you with the Dance - Casting Crowns

I'm going alphabetically down my playlist here, hence the many crowns references. First time ever hearing a square dance country fiddle riff in a modern pop song and totally loving it. Attempted to learn the riff on violin and failed miserably.

Glory - Casting Crowns

The second crowns song I got a hold of (illegally I must admit at first) and totally loving it. Remember using it in my first Christmas production with Yew Meng and gang. I remember also teaching Kris and Nol the 'Alleluia' parts and harmony. Remember the unbelievable amount of laughs generated during the practices. To this day, it amazes me how we got things done at all.

Cartoon Song - Chris Rice

Laughed really hard at the lyrics the first time.

How Great is Our God - Chris Tomlin

Ok it was our fault we brought this song into the church. Remember jamming it with Ahloo, Calvin, Boss Lady. Remember the fun rehearsals we had at my house. Remember getting lost on the way to the youth campsite. Remember playing it with so much passion for a special occasion. Remember it being the spark of the many repeats back in church in the years to come. Our fault.

Made to Worship - Chris Tomlin

Remember dearly the improvised pointing at teen street that half worked almost. It was beautiful choreography. =D

My Chains are Gone - Chris Tomlin

Remember doing this in church for the very first time. Remembering the power of the most beautiful hymn ever written. And it's power during TeenStreet. And Passion KL. It's so much power...

Sing Sing Sing - Chris Tomlin

I remember seeing Chris live at the Sunway Convention Centre for Passion KL. Remember going crazy during the song. Also remember it being one of the most awesome times of praise at Teen Street. And my elbow hurting after being overly enthusiastic with it.

God of This City - Chris Tomlin

Yet another song that ties in so well with both my experience at Passion KL and at TeenStreet. This became my mission song. I remember playing it in church for the first time and getting an amazing response towards it. Greater things...

Here is Our King - David Crowder

Remember the rehearsal at my place with the old gang. The song that never was, but yet we had so much fun with it.

Foreverandever etc. - David Crowder

This reminds me of one thing - me ripping off the chord progression and structure and writing my own lyrics over it. I named it 'Jesus Fan Club' and we played it at the revive concert. It was a fun tune, but only after I wrote it did I realise I ripped off Mr. Crowder's tune. And I had to endure the jokes we shared singing my song over his whenever we heard it. Ahloo will never let me forget this one.

I saw the light - David Crowder

Remember being totally floored by how much fun it would be to play this. Also remember sharing it with as many people as I could to revive some old school hand clapping foot tapping fun. Also remember Edward going nuts singing it way into the wee hours of the morning during church camp. And it being made to ridiculous references to anything regarding lights.

There is no one Like You - David Crowder

I remember the Revive concert and Ivan on the drums yelling 'here we go!' at the top of his lungs, and out of time. haha!

Sing Like the Saved - David Crowder

First time worship leading at church camp. This was the 'warm up' song. Remember the older generation really dancing for the first time. Remember seeing Pastor Ronnie Teoh bouncing up and down. This song forever remains as proof that the church can get down with it. They just need to learn to do it more often...

Now is the Time - Delirious

Remember watching Delirious live for the first time ever at the AYA concert event.

Deeper - Delirious

I remember the same concert, and them forgetting their lyrics. And also the gang on the rooftop concert (adam included this time) playing it after me and Ahloo longed to jam this song for what seemed to be forever. We finally did. And we had too much fun.

Freedom Song/The Difference/Promises - Desperation Band

Remember listening to the desperation band for the first time and totally loving it. Remember sharing it with Ahloo and Ivan. Also remember Ivan singing 'The Difference' in his best voice. Can never stop laughing at that. Remember also attempting the freedom song for a Praise Night and still not getting the riff right *Cough*Calvin's fault*cough*

You Found Me - FFH

One of the earliest songs (together with Voice of Truth) I heard on the radio. Remember working out the amazing chord progression because it was so awesome. One of those 'we should sing this in church' discussions with Ahloo.

Testify - Fusion

My first Christian concert. I remember following friends to Glad Tidings (was it or not? I can't remember) and witnessing Christian Rock music for the first time in my life. Remember that turning point in my life. This was Genesis of my Christian music experience. Totally stunned by it's loudness and power - not like church music at all. Remember Jo falling in love with 'Lift up your eyes' - more on that later.

Better one Moment - Fusion

Played Saxophone in church for the very first time on this one. It was alot of fun. And alot of pain to my lower lip. Don't know why we decided to do this all of a sudden - I blame Ahloo. I'm pretty sure it was his fault.

The rest of the Album - Fusion

The whole album in it's entirety reminds me of the enjoyable car ride to Golden Sands Penang for church camp in none other than the Uncle Chris-mobile. Only sitting in his car can make a dull journey so much fun.

This Man - Jeremy Camp

Remember Adam playing the intro for this on broken strings for the Revive concert and still surviving through it. Kudos.

Beyond Measure Album - Jeremy Camp

I remember sitting on the beach at church camp late into the night with Adam, with this playing on Stella's little radio. I remember attempting making his sand balls, and never achieving his level of perfection. I also remember kicking one and hurting my leg.

Letters from War - Mark Schultz.

Remember going over this song with Ahloo and ultimately deciding it was the 'Mother's Day' song. Never got to play it for real. But it was one of the first to be labelled like that along with 'American Dream'.

Running just to catch myself - Mark Schultz

Remember laughing like crazy first time hearing this song and then sharing it with Ahloo who has working miserably at the time and him going 'That's exactly like me right now'. Recommended song for all those at work and not enjoying it really.

Word of God Speak - MercyMe

Remember doing this at the Revive concert as a powerful live version. Remember enjoying this song so much because of it's beautiful structure and chord progression and simple lyrics.

Where you Lead me - MercyMe

One of the few MercyMe songs attempted in church. Remember this being the first time we down tuned a guitar to C because Ahloo was dying on the vocals.

Everything Impossible - MercyMe

Remember the ultimate never ending prank played on Eugene Y. for the starting of the tune. Couldn't help myself. Still laughing as I type this. First MercyMe song attempted in church.

Here with Me - MercyMe

First MercyMe song I ever heard on the radio. And the one that lead me to buy their album Undone. And that is also the first album that I fell in love with every single song written on it. Every single one was amazing.

When I spoke your name - MercyMe

Another song from the rooftop concert. Did this one because we wanted something more 'rock' for Calvin's sake. Nearly killed Ahloo on the vocals.

He Reigns/Adoration - Newsboys

Remember these being two songs that I wanted to do so much in church. Remember them being the songs that made me go 'I wish our church choir was that good'. Sadly, never happened.

Shine - Newsboys

Epic opening song to the rooftop concert. Remember Ahloo 'rapping' for the first time. Well.. almost. The real rapping comes later. Remember teaching Calvin the riff for almost 20 minutes. Or more.

Wherever we Go/Something Beautiful/others from the GO album - Newsboys

Remember these being on the playlist of my first VBS being the principal, at the funfair event. DJ KJ had the juice.

It is You - Newsboys

I remember Ahloo showing me the video to this one and the revolving stage they were playing on. I remember wishing I could have a gig like that too with a revolving stage and a congregation all round.

Blessed be your Name - Newsong

Remember wanting to play this song for the rooftop concert. Remember first trying the normal-ish version by Tree63. And then remember wanting to make it more interesting. I knew I had this version but it never came to my mind until I heard it on CD again. And then we tried it. And rocked it. And then having to play it as an encore for the concert which we never prepared for and being totally exhausted by it.

Psalm 40 - Newsong

Remember hearing this on the radio and blown away by it's amazing simplicity. Remember promising myself and Ahloo doing the same that we'd play this song in church one day. Well, it became our 'audience participation' song for the rooftop concert.

You Are Holy - Newsong

Another song Ahloo talked me into. I shared it with him first, and he got hooked and repeated it in his playlist over and over for more than 50 times. You see.. the live track had this magic of having the opening and ending applauds completely blending upon a repeat. And so it lived in Ahloo's winamp or something for many a day, until we decided to do it in church. I remember not rehearsing, but nailing the piano intro because I can.

Before the Day - Newsong

Ahloo talked me into this one. Remember learning the piano part and falling in love with it. Remember it being so powerful during that morning's service in church. Gorgeous song.

Planet Shakers

Ok, these people get a whole category to themselves. There are too many songs from them for me to list. Remember their name being mentioned when our old gang was talking about christian music. Remember downloading (sorry guys) their songs after that Fusion Concert in GT. And remember compiling their albums. Shake the Planet made my mind explode. Reflector album was the first I bought. Lift up your eyes, I remember playing that for the first time in church for Advent with Jo and the rest and it actually being pretty darn awesome. Remember Buzzsaw and the endless discussions about what the noise really was. Remember all the songs we 'wanted to do' and those that we did. Remember playing 'Overwhelmed' and totally enjoying it. Remember doing 'Unto You' for the sole reason of it having an E to G modulation which sounds awesome.

Remember going to so many of their concerts just because it was them. Even when it wasn't 'them'.

Remember Eugene Y showing off his ability to play the 'Big' riff. Remember messing up the drum parts for that song when first attempting to jam it.

Remember watching them play live for the PS conference. Remember playing 'send me' for mission month. Oh so many memories with these guys.

I remember This is How We Overcome - I remember playing it on the beach on Stella's portable radio during church camp one time. And I remember a whole bunch of the youth dancing in circles to that tune. I remember also the drum beats giving Ivan another hard time.

Remember also speed learning Majesty for TeenStreet and poorly remembering all the stops and stuff. Remember also the guitar sound being referred to as the 'jegajiaow'. Thank you guys for that one.

Also special is Stand. Played that for the Revive concert and remember it being Isaac's song. He went nuts playing that thing. And I nearly lost my voice over it.

Lord I come before you - Salvador

First ever song I heard from Salvador. So instrumental, I was immediately hooked. Remember sharing this with Ahloo and him going nuts too.

Montana - Salvador

This song holds a special place in my heart. I remember teaching it to the church at camp for the first time. Se Movera! It was so much fun. The first experience a baptist church had, speaking and singing in tongues.

Be Thou Near to Me - Selah

I remember playing the piano for this thing. I remember Ahloo attempting it for the first time. I also remember subsequent people trying it in worship with me constantly saying that it's impossible because of the overlapping ranges of the male and female vocals. No one listens to the music major...

Steven Curtis Chapman

This man also gets his whole section. Too many tunes.

Remember the Declaration and Speechless CD that I got hold of for the very first time from the Chens. Remember listening to song after song from Declaration and loving it. Remember learning the riffs for 'Live Out Loud' and 'Jesus is Life'. Remember personally labeling 'No Greater Love' as the Good Friday song that I wanted to attempt but didn't. I remember learning that guitar riff and singing to it to make sure I could do it.

Also remember the Nintendo sound from 'See the Glory'. I remember hearing it for the first time and I burst out laughing. Remember Adam listening to it for the first time and continually repeating it to his own amusement.

I remember also Dive and coming up with a mime for it, that no one saw thankfully. Remember sitting in the Chens place attempting to figure out the time signature and chords for 'Next 5 Minutes'. And not succeeding because I was a poor guitarist.

I remember talking about the cute lyrics in 'Declaration of Dependence' regarding the flower and the sky with Mike.

Remember attempting Children of God and Ivan going mad because he couldn't get the drum break. Hilarious. And Calvin's guitar part being completely lost in the form.

Also remember Much of You as one of those songs my mom absolutely loved.

I remember hearing 'How do I love her' on the radio, and found it to be one of the most romantic songs in the world.

Superchick - no particular song

Remember buying this and showing it calvin for the first time in his car. And him being speechless. Christian Punk Rock. Oh yeah.

Cry out to Jesus - Third Day

Remember this being so powerful to me when I heard it. Remember labeling this one the 'altar call' song. Remember playing it for both the rooftop concert and also the revive concert.

I'm For You - TobyMac

Remember trying this for the Revive concert and failing and scrapping it because my voice couldn't take it. Remember squeaking in it and everyone laughing.

Gone - TobyMac

First song ever heard from Toby. And it being so catchy, I totally fell into it.

Diverse City - TobyMac

Yes. This is the official Ahloo Rapping song. First attempt at bringing hip hop music to the church. Remember also Boss Lady totally losing it and laughing during her part of the chorus. Haha!

You Are Good - Israel Houghton

Remember stumbling upon this on a CD that was given to my dad for reasons unknown. Remember putting this on repeat and listening to it over and over again in college during boring lectures (LAN anyone?). Remember attempting it in church and failing because Israel's voice is limitless. Mine is.

However this song is attached very dearly to my TeenStreet friends. Remember doing this song for the first time at the event and the lyrics weren't up. But it was a blast nonetheless. Remember also dropping my sticks right off the bat for the very first song which was this one, at it's epic ending.

Next Thing You know - Matthew West.

Another of Ahloo's attempted 'raps'. Remember this being a totally fun song to do. Remember teaching Adam the guitar riff at the end. 1,2,3,4,5,6 niau niau niau niau... and then rejoicing when we finally got it together. Also remembering Ivan's made up lyrics for this thing during the Praise Night when Ahloo was showering.

Next thing you know...

Hillsong

Last of the honorable mentions. What can I say. So many songs...

Let me see if I can list them. I remember Better than Life, and Ahloo sneaking it up on me for a presentation in church. And I remember Now that You're Near and me playing it for the first time having never heard it before in my life. And I remember the point in time when we couldn't stop playing 'My Redeemer Lives'. As with 'Heart of worship'. I remember Heart of Worship and the unplugged arrangement we did, which showcased my vocals for the very first time.

I remember using 'My Redeemer Lives' for my music school recital at Summit USJ with Jo, Aaron, Cheryl, Calvin and the rest. I remember that being the largest freaking band on stage.

I remember 'Mighty To Save' and I remember the story of Ashley Akinns at Passion. I remember crying when singing that song and how powerful it was to me. I remember playing it at TeenStreet along with Hosanna and Saviour King. I remember playing Saviour King for the first time and totally falling in love with the arrangement. I remember Jamie's super stance when playing the intro to 'Mighty to save'. I remember the wombat intro in Hosanna.

I remember sitting in Uncle Chris' car, with all these songs playing in it. I remember finally attempting some of our favourites like King Of Majesty, Tell the World, Break Free, Take it All and all the rest that came along with it when the youth finally kicked off their own worship. I remember Take it All from TeenStreet too, and completely ad libbing that darn tom intro. Somehow it also conjours up images of Ian floating in the sky for that photograph. I don't know why it's connected to this song though.

I remember also playing older ones like All Things Are Possible - that 2 chord pause thing. I remember playing it when we were spontaneously worshipping at Uncle Chris' place for new years.

I remember slowly bringing in my old favourites like 'Trading my Sorrows' and 'Eagle's Wings' into the church.

Did you Feel the Mountains Tremble - Delirious

I remember wanting to do this song in church since the day I heard it. It finally did happen, many years later. I remember their concert and the Dance in the River medley they did. And I remember using that same medley and shocking the church into a static state of disbelief during my worship leading. No regrets. Someone had to do it. I do remember it being alot of fun for the Revive concert.

Friend of God - Lakewood

I remember playing this for the worship team from Florida that day. I remember turning up in the morning and rehearsing like 10 seconds of each song. I remember being nervous for the first time in years. I remember it also being one of the best worship sessions I experienced.

Other songs worth noting that aren't on my playlists.

Christmas songs - Silent Night, Angels we have heard on High etc.

These continually remind me of my little stint with the CDPC gang at Subang Parade. I remember being 'borrowed' for this event and Adam being 'borrowed' as well. Honorary members of CDPC now, haha. I remember playing my heart out on the piano - being able to play a jazzy SIlent Night for the very first time to people who understood what on earth I was doing.

It also attaches the 'I've got ham but I'm not a hamster' joke we had running during our rehearsals.

And the cute little kid voice Darlene (am I spelling her name right?) made.

And the ridiculously fun arrangements of our favourite christmas tunes.

And me teaching Eugene S. how to swing.

I can't go a christmas now without thinking back to this wonderful time together with you CDPC peeps. And I can't play any of these songs anymore without using those arrangements.

Fields of Grace - Big Daddy Weave

I remember loving this song - and then I remember Adam butchering it in his attempt at it. Sorry Adam, but it's the truth.

Thy Word/And others - various artists

I remember sitting in a room with friends and guitars, staying up late during church camp jamming these old classics. And I remember a harmonicaman jamming with us. I remember singing harmony and generally having the most fun with 2 guitars I've ever had.

Forever/All Things are Possible/Others - Various

I remember playing these at Uncle Chris' house during his after hours new year party. I remember this being a night of pure joy in worship. I wish church worship would be like these moments. There is no greater sound than the sound of the saints worshipping together in one place.

Grace Like Rain - Todd Agnew

Yet another song in KJ's first Christmas Production with Yew Meng and crew. It especially reminds me of the 'kill the lights' part with our technician (who really is our everything man) Uncle Chris.

You were There - Avalon/Agnus Dei - Third Day/Strange Way to Save the World - 4Him/many others that I don't own the CDs to

These are special songs that I share with my mom. Either because we just enjoy them as beautiful pieces of music, or the fact that we've sung them together at some point. And she has so faithfully copied them and compiled them into CDs of her own.

And that's it for now.

These memories can never leave me because they are ingrained into the music I listen to. All you guys mentioned, you have a special place in my heart.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas indeed.

*Post is subject to editing should I remember some other songs in the near future*

Chapter f=ma - The Christmas Adventure Bonus Level

Life is filled with adventures. God gives us opportunities everywhere we turn. Our only decision is to say 'yes' or 'no' to these open doors.

I choose to say 'Yes, Lord'. I don't know what or how you're working in something like this, but my answer is Yes.

I just got back from a twenty minute bike ride to east Hollywood. It's been a tiring night. What was on the agenda? Well, cleaning up a space to get ready for Christmas Eve service.

Here's the deal.

The place that the service is being hosted at just held a Toy Drive, giving away toys to the needy for this Christmas season. They had mountains of toys, clothes, bags, accessories, hygiene products, school utilities and others. And whatever that they didn't manage to give away was to be packed in boxes and sent to more needy people down in Mexico. Now, when I got there, the place was almost empty. Well, I say almost empty - in fact the tables were still loaded with things. But the lady in charge of the Toy Drive mentioned that they had helped more than 1200 people in the process, so I'm guessing a ton of it had already gone, but the fact remained that the remnant pile was huge.

So we were going to help pack up the rest into boxes, label and tape them up and store them aside, clearing the hall for our Christmas Eve service later today actually (it's one in the morning on Christmas Eve).

There's something magical about doing manual labor in the church. I don't know what it is, but there's something amazingly satisfying in all of it. I've had my fair share of doing manual work in the church - alot of heavy lifting and moving and setting up and tearing down - and it's just a joyous thing. There's no physical reward in it and it's a real tiring task and it really drains, but there's a joy that cannot be explained that comes as a reward. It's like God gives you this invisible pat on the back going 'well done'. It's amazing.

My feet are sore, my back is aching and my hands are tired to the bone. But I'm so happy I decided to say yes to going to this slightly far place at 10:00pm, riding through the cold, and going all the way just to work. I'm glad I decided not to stay at home.

And that just made my Christmas. There's nothing that instills the spirit of giving more than just giving yourself.

Merry Christmas Eve everyone.

There's more to come. One more adventure post before the long awaited KJ Super Christmas Ultimate Special of the Century's Best Ever.

It's a good one that one is and it'll be out Christmas Day. I promise. I have to tweak it abit more to make sure I don't forget anything. It's super long. And super special.

For now though, Merry Christmas Eve.

Chapter Ganksthiving

Happy Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is a quintessentially American Holiday. It's celebrated nowhere else around the world. Very typically American that is. Much like Baseball and Basketball and American Football... only in America.

I use it as an excuse to eat. And as Malaysians I guess we're pretty familiar with that territory aren't we? Using any occasion as an opportunity to devour delicious cuisine.

But it's a beautiful thing really. It's a day to be thankful. You don't get a more amazing purpose for a holiday than that. I mean, Christmas has become more about getting presents, New Years never really meant anything to anyone (another excuse to eat Malaysians? *ahem*) and so on. But a day to give thanks, that's actually beautiful.

And there are so many things we can be thankful for.

Me?

I'm thankful for

- Being here doing what I love. Being safe in Hollywood thus far. Surviving without any problems.

- Not falling seriously ill so far.

- Not running out of money.

- Settling into a great Church.

- VBS going on back home right now. For such an awesome team of people dedicated to serve a bunch of underaged hooligans.

- Great friendships. New ones. Old ones. Friendships that transcend the barriers of time.

- An awesome Thanksgiving dinner amidst a week of my no gas week (number 2 now) and all sandwiches.

Above all, I thank God for being God. For being in charge, because I certainly shouldn't be. He has a plan that will NEVER go off track. God's plan never ever gets derailed and though mine certainly do, His never. And I'm thankful for that.

Because in that unchangeable plan of God, He also included the death of Jesus on the cross for my sin. If it were up to me, I would never have dreamed of that kind of a plan, but He, in His divine love, decided to do that for me and I am eternally grateful.

So.. though we may not celebrate it anywhere else, Happy Thanksgiving.

Give thanks to the Lord, Our God and King

His love endures FOREVER!

Chapter alt+f4

Got out food from fridge to cook.

Turned on stove.

No gas.

Night, couldn't call anyone.

Had sandwiches for dinner.

Called office next morning.

Gas company shut off our gas due to miscommunication.

Made new account.

Waited.

Still no gas.

Gas company said to wait 1 week.

1 WEEK?

1 whole week with no gas.

Bought sandwich food for a week.

Looks like same meals for a whole week.

Tuna, ham, etc...

Still lots of food in freezer to cook.

So tempting.

Stupid gas.

Earphones broke.

Only pair.

Need for ear protection in labs.

Comfy.

Useful.

Broken.

Attempted repair.

Opened it myself.

Checked wires.

Didn't work.

Couldn't practice as much all night.

Sound in one ear only is weird.

Sent to shop.

Cost 5 bucks.

Soldered back the wires.

Didn't work.

Bought super glue to fix myself.

Spent 2 dollars.

Got glue on my hands.

Didn't work.

Scrapped plan.

Remembered backup ones from home.

Worked, but no ear protection.

Relatively useless in practice.

Scrapped those.

Went to music store.

Looked at new ones.

50-100 Dollars.

Nearly fainted.

Scrapped plan.

Went to electronics store.

Saw sale.

Rejoiced.

Brought old pair to compare.

Found similar model.

Hoped they worked. Much like hoping to win lottery.

Paid 20 bucks.

Prayed and hoped.

Went home.

Opened package.

Tested.

Worked.

Rejoiced.

Had sandwich.

Now waiting patiently for the week to pass.

GAS!

THANKSGIVING!

CHRISTMAS DECOR IS UP!

TINSELTOWN IS GETTING SOME TINSEL!

Crappy week now.

Better one coming.

Chapter 55

This blog post was inevitable. After so many tweets about it, I just had to post something about it. I think most of you know what I'm talking about.

THE RAIN.

Oh yes. It's got itself a couple of tweets in a row, but now it gets a whole post by itself.

It's been raining for 2 days straight. And it's gone between relatively heavy to light drizzle over and over again. It fluctuates around the clock. I think it's stopped now, but the rain clouds are still up there in the sky and if it stays that way, we'll be expecting more. It's still got nothing on the 1 hour super heavy thunderstorms back home, where the raindrops are so huge they sometimes hurt you when they bonk you on the head. It's not that heavy, but it's reasonable. You can still get soaked from it. Thank God for the schools shuttle bus service, or I'd be going home wet like a wet object that's been soaking in wetness. And dripping with.. wetness. Aren't my adjectives amazing.

And I'm loving every bit of it. I loved the rain back home, but after coming here, I've learned to appreciate it even more.

It makes me realise that after 6 months of not having something you've had forever, you tend to enjoy it much more when it comes. It's like a Christmas present. Or a fancy dinner that you treat yourself to once a year. Or a holiday to somewhere exotic. It's new. And it's incredible. It's funny how something as simple as vapour forming in the sky and collecting together with small particles in the air and then coming down to the lithosphere under the pull of gravity can be so refreshing and invigorating. It's just water, falling from the sky. When you say it like that, suddenly it sounds so miraculous.

I think about how God ordained the skies to carry the rain. How He made the water cycle of the earth. Scientists spent time researching and predicting weather patterns but God simply thought it up and imagined how it would work. He directed the clouds and the winds and made rain available to us all. It's a miracle. The rain is a miracle. It's beautiful.

After 6 months of nothing but sun, the rain has got me all giddy like a schoolgirl. You don't rave on about it in Malaysia. In fact, most people complain about the rain and how it spoils their day. But once you don't have it as regularly anymore, it all changes. I'm guessing this applies for everything.

Which brings me to a point. With the world shrinking because of the internet and global connectivity, we may not miss each other as much when we're apart. But I think when the day comes that we're all together once more, it will be so amazingly special that it surpasses all emotions.

Have a nice rainy day.

____

**

On the side note, I was being serious about the smell of dog poop. Having almost no grass at all anywhere, the smell of freshness doesn't really happen. And since nearly EVERYONE owns a dog here, the smell of urine and poop prevails. A gross thought I know.. but that's another thing to be thankful for to you guys at home.

Cheers.

Chapter Ohm

It's been six months since I've been here in Tinseltown.

It's been six months since I've been in school.

It's been six months since I left home.

It's been six months since...

Things I've learned about myself

- I have a knack for losing small 'less important' things or belongings. I lose my pencils a lot and my water bottles. And I also lost my first cap I brought here. But I never ever lose anything truly important like my wallet, student ID, house keys etc..

- I enjoy talking to myself and with God to make walking less arduous. Since I have no portable music playing device, I resort to my own methods of entertainment.

- I am an American misfit. As an Asian that speaks good english I am an anomaly. White people won't strike up conversations as randomly with me because they don't expect asians to speak english. And Asians can't converse with me because I don't speak korean/japanese/good mandarin. I am a misfit.

- I do not need rice to live as most Asians do. Sure it's nice to have rice. But it's not a requirement.

Other things I've learned

- Cooking daily is not as easy as parents make it out to be. Creating a menu day to day is as difficult as painting the Mona Lisa. I pride myself on cooking well, but to cook diversely requires not only skill, but a brain that works in ways none can fathom.

- Grocery shopping is tedious. It's clearly impossible to purchase things for exactly a week. I can't do the once a week grocery shopping simply because I have no clue how long things will last. My powers of prophecy and prediction are not so powerful. So I end up buying what I need when I need it. Which means going to the grocery store more often than usual. Which sucks.

- The big one will have to be learning to live with other people. Tolerance often gets stretched to the outer limits and beyond sometimes. And this has been a particular struggle for me in these past couple of days. It's especially hard when one perceives himself to be more considerate and understanding than the others. I do not boldly claim to be, but it certainly feels that way a lot of the time. It almost always feels like I'm the one stepping out of the way and being considerate. But obviously the truth is that silent tolerance works both ways, so I haven't said anything but that doesn't mean that I haven't done anything that brings annoyance - it could just be that others haven't said anything either. It's most definitely mutual... but it's so easy to feel like it's not that way.

Sometimes I feel like paying it back. Sometimes I feel like making my own noise just to prove a point. Sometimes I feel like being an irritating moron when I've been taken to my own limit. I feel like paying it back. But I can never do so. And I feel like screaming 'UNFAIR! WHY MUST I BE THE ONLY THOUGHTFUL ONE!?'

Which is never true. Nor do I claim it to be. It just always feels that way.

A friend of mine joked - this is training for the future when/if I get married and I have to live with someone who's from a different planet for the rest of my life.

Dear Jesus,

Help. You know what.

Amen.

Things I need to learn

- to defrost meat ahead of time

- to read my Bible more often

- never forget to wash the dishes before I sleep

- boil my potatoes 1/2 an hour before I plan to eat dinner

- use my coins when grocery shopping.. otherwise my penny pile will keep growing.

I'm not thinking of anymore. I'm done for now.

Chapter 4 - Fall

The heat is subsiding in Socal. (Southern California for those who are wondering.)

The sun goes down by 7:30.

The nights are cooling.

The air condition is being used no more. Well exception of some rare afternoons.

The quarter is coming to a close. A new one is beginning.

The tourists are gone.

The Boulevard isn't as crowded anymore.

The blockbusters have ended.

The Summer Music Festivals have come to a close.

The free jazz is finished. The paid ones carry on.

The city is that bit quieter. Although still quite noisy on weekends.

...

The summer has ended.

But not before leaving us with this.

That's the moon, made red by the fires in LA. A moon tainted by the dust, smoke and ashes. A fiery moon, making it's last stance against the change in weather.

A moon, serving as a reminder how hot the darn place became, and once again subsiding to another portion of forgotten history.

The fall is coming.

The fall is here.

Gaya leh.

Chapter 888.888

No this is not the early Chinese New Year special.

I was just having some thoughts.

And once again I've been thinking in point form.

- The world of music is far larger than anyone can ever imagine.

- There are musicians that exist in every corner of the world that are far superior to those that we see today.

- The ones that we hold in such high regard can easily be outclassed by someone completely unknown from a tiny corner in the universe.

- I know this for I have witnessed within these school walls, musicians who can literally take over the world.

- Who do we idolize in our own country? Who do we know? What do we truly know?

- How can we claim someone is the best 'undiscovered' musician when, in truth, there are millions more 'undiscovered' ones who are even more capable?

Why these thoughts you might ask?

To illustrate my conclusion, here is more powerpoints.

- I have improved more in my level of consciousness rather than skill. That is not to say that my skill has not improved. In fact it has greatly.

- (on a side note, my skill level has increased by leaps and bounds that I can boldly claim that I can hold my own against Malaysia's 'top' drummers. They are nothing to me now.

- That's because my realisation that there are far superior people where I am now has altered both my approach to my playing and my mindset.

Hear now the words of a music student.

The first step to becoming great is understanding that no matter how great you are, there is always someone greater.

The second step to becoming great is finding that greater person and aspiring to be greater than him.

These two steps form a vicious cycle - in a good way. And with realisation comes motivation, and with motivation comes dedication, and with dedication comes awesomeness.

I'm starting to feel some awesomeness.

Part of me is itching to come back home and show off - human nature is such that pride is ever present. But denying it would be far worse I suppose. Indeed, I cannot way to show off some of my new skills. I cannot wait to go up to some of the drummers I've imagined were greater than me and go 'IN YO FACE!' - well... maybe not that violently.

All these are thoughts from my latest practice session, where I've had an amazing revelation on how much I've actually improved and why.

If you do quote my great quote, do give me the credit. Here it is again.

'The first step to becoming great is understanding that no matter how great you are, there is always someone greater.

The second step to becoming great is finding that greater person and aspiring to be greater than him.'

KJ the wise has spoken.

The things I miss... (so far)

Last Edited - November 14 2009.

- My CD collection

- Making money and buying almost anything I like.

- Late night mamak sessions with random people

- Driving

- Mom's spaghetti (mine is no where near in comparison)

- My drum kit

- Jamming with the Teen Street band (yes you guys get special mention)

- 7-11 and Viran

- Milo

For now..

*EDIT

- Going to Summit

- Rain (yes.. I miss the rain. I haven't had any since I got here)

- Yee Mee (all the varieties of it - claypot, fried, braised ... etc etc)

- My Toy Collection

- 7 RM movies and the unlimited time to watch them

- Mom's baking - everything from brownies to apple cakes and pies.

- spices in the fridge (all I have here is salt and pepper.. everything else is so expensive)

- chinese rice wine

- Frozen burger patties (really cheap ones)

- Longan syrup mix

- Impromptu practices at my house with Calbin, Ahloo and others who've been there.

- My Calvin & Hobbes collection.

*EDIT*

- Eating out.

- The chicken rice chili, and perhaps some other kinds. But mainly that one.

- Eating cheap-ish sushi

- Tau foo fah and other tong sui.

* MORE EDITS*

- Durian. Lots of Durian.

- Koko Crunch